Why do I have a strong feeling towards him?!

This weird strong feeling is like a magnet. Its like every time I have a chance to see him, I am very determined to meet him on that peculiar day. I want him, my body is shouting his name, calling him to come as well!

I found love, not that strong but enough to make me fall for him! <3 I officially learnt to fall in love with him and I really hope he could see it....:)

XOXO
Dreamer

Valentines Day...

OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Valentines Day is coming!!!!! I want a boyfriend! I want gifts from my loved ones!!!! I want my close boy friends to be around! Friends everywhere around me! I want to be in my lover's arms....I want us to talk cheesy talk, lovey-dovey talk and making plans for us only. i wish my parents allow me to date! OKOK, they forbid me to date or have a boyfriend but they don't really seem to care when I start a LOVE affair with a boy I actually like/love?!! I am jealous of the other couples who get to find their own happiness and freedom to do whatever they want, when they want! They get to snuggle together in peace while I never get that chance! :(

XOXO CYAN! :'( I want him....

Jackass...for her

One always believed they were meant to be, the other was less likely to think. This is how i think every time. They were always doing many things together. One was male and another was a female of course! She is the bestest friend I ever will have, she has many awesome egos but the guy never treats her more than a boyfriend SHOULD do!

Liking her too, making her laugh, telling her he loves her. Come on, those are NEVER enough. That's how my affair with a guy is right now! I will never feel satisfied if he always treats me like this! All of us so called 'friends' of hers keep telling her that she is OBSSESSED with him, but she always denies. I feel guilty for not believing her at the first place because, she called him, he didn't exactly pick up and now, she is crying her heart out, trying to get over him. She always had this crush on him, but then, the crush grew more till' love. She wasn't EVER obssessed with him at all, that's the mosty important thing I learnt from their 'love'. I want her to be happy and not sad.

When I first saw the guy, he looked like a non-keeper guy and i was right. Moving on to the other girl, leaving her behind...I didn't like him one bit. But my friend here, convinced me and I learnt he wasn't ALL bad...:) Anyway, even though I know she isn't obssessed with him, i don't trust the guy with any innocent girl! He might do the same to all other girls.......that is torture~!

I think she moving on like him is the BEST and ONLY option! I have no doubts at all with this option! I wish she could just do the same...I know how it feels like to be really heartbroken when a guy you love justs dumps you...it hurts so bad and you always keep scolding yourself. 'What did i do wrong? I wish I can just go back in time....etc' This is crazy talk, i tell you. You were never wrong to think that he actually loved you for once, you didn't do anything wrong, it's just that the guy just can't think straight for what he actually wants! That is never called love. If you deny it, its your choice.

For the sake of my friend,
XOXO
Cyan

Gimme a C, H,E,E,R,L,E,A,D,I,N,G!!!!!!

Is my choice the right one? I joined cheerleading...maybe. I said 50-50%! I always wanted to be a cheerleader but then, i'm not THAT flexible. I can barely do a split or cartwheel, that's what i'm ashamed off. But when i first asked about what we do in cheerleading, they say we only cheer that's all....Should I or not??





I participate volleyball for Sport's day....i love it...





This sucks!





XOXO


Cyan! -.-

Youth Symphony Orchestra Audition!!!!

14 Jan 2012. There's a music audition at Istana Budaya something something. I want so badly to get it...not that badly but i want to. I choose a song, 'Kiss the Rain by Yiruma.' Is it a good choice? I changed the keys to flats and sharps free! Easy but the notes can go to E at 3 octaves higher in violin...I practice more than I usually do. God...am i doing the right thing to enter this thing??

XOXO'

Cyan -worried-

Got invited to 2 events today. Both from guys. Hans and Muhanned. The event are on different dates, thank god! Hans invited me to Tropicana City to watch a movie with Michael, maybe it is about the Band thing??? After school is that event, 2pm, i wonder how we are going to meet their...

Muhanned....NERF WAR BABAY! Oh my gosshhhhh!!! i can't wait already!!!!!!! Nerf. i am starting to love that word! :D Thanks boys, I'll try to come both of the events!!! You boys are such great friends!!

XOXO

Dreamer

Sherlock Holmes :)

I never read the book, i know stupid right? Anyway, i started watching TV series (British Version) of Sherlock Holmes and the two main characters, Sherlock and the doctor. OMG, they are SOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!!!!!!!! Sherlock has a really quite, hilarious, crazy, mental, intelligent and everything that is related to AWESOME!

The American Version of S.H. The movie. They aren't exactly my type, i mean the looks.....not really my type...THIS IS SHORT.

XOXO

Bored cyan...

Best party ever at Muhaned's!!!!!!! It was once in a lifetime partyyy. I got a huge headache from having too much fun. XD

Nerf War surprise when I first step in his house. Got shot by nerf bullets. Ouch. Then, i learnt how to use the Nerf gun. 8 of us, i got in a group of 4, but too bad I was the only girl. The guys were so mean, they called me the 'reloader' and yeah, i think you'd guessed what they told me to do. Reloading the bullets and shooting a little. I had my own SMALL gun and a backup one while others had LONGGGGG ones and their backup.

We hid our at our shelter made from stacks of sofas, pillows, stools and desks. While our opponents, had 3 chairs...haha. But we lost at the end....of round 1. =.= Cause one of us had to surrender because we needed to reload our guns....wait, that's my job...Well, i wasn't doing a good job...i got addicted by the shooting part. :P

Round 2...ding ding! No ending, cause we suddenly stopped, no winner or loser, i kinda forgot. Right, we had to rest. 2 hours had passed. I reached his house at 1pm, you see and we ate at 3 something then left for 5pm fot 1 U to watch 'Sherlock Holmes.' then 7:30pm for BOWL-A-RAMA! :D

My fav part was that after we ate and we started to sing the B'day song while the cake was served. Orea cheese cake. Yum! We scooped some with our fingers and charged for Mr. Birthday boy! He screamed and ran up the stairs and we manage to catch him in the corner of the stairs. Muhaned gave up and we painted his face with the orea cheese cream. I know, I didn't want to waste it either but it has become a 'tradition' for them ( i just came to this school) to paint the cream of the cake on the birthday boy/girl. I don't feel like having a b'day party anymore......^^

I'll write the movie part at another post. :) Bowling.......it was 7:30 and my mum arrived at the bowling alley. Too bad she only let me play for A round of Bowling. Well, its better than nothing! It was like 7:30 when the movie ended, so we only get to play a few rounds except me, i had to leave after ONE round. I never played it but it was so FUN!!!!!! I love it, i think i was quite good at my first game. I got 50!!!!! :P i got 3rd place of 70:65:50:18 ^^

I still have the huge headache though and it hurts like hell!!!!!!!!

XOXO

Dreamer with a headache? XO

World war III is coming

If the fight still goes on tomorrow, there's going to be a World War III!!!!!!!!! STOP FIGHTING YOU TWO! GEEZ! She is really going to cry, you told her to look at the mirror so she can see her pig face. You know, that is so NOT attractive! Girls hate that, and they usually get emotional start to cry. NEVER make a girl cry...its really pitiful for us girls. :(

These are short statuses. '

XOXO
Cyan

Every second the clock ticks, a new bad, harsh, mean comment appears on the picture of her. You call her a Pig face. She calls you a dog. Come on, you guys are like in KINDERGARTEN! That's what she said about you...You said everyone agrees that she looks like a pig. I didn't, FYI but I am on neither side!

I can predict that you are going to make her cry soon...Please stop. Its nearly 12 am and you guys are never stopping to type the words coming from your hearts. Now she is talking to me on facebook, i have no reason to lie to her, i just be my own self. I don't hate her, not at all so its easy!

I hate fights. Especially when the older you get, the more fights you get involved, the more harder it will be solved and more hurt. I hope you guys can make up soon! You just have to....

XOXO
Dreamer :(

Which side should I go?

This is crazy, crap, continuously STUPID! They were together for a term, together they suffered...yeah this is lame. Why? M and G? They were my good friends...Who side shall I be on? Easy. None! I can't help on both sides right? It will have more fights between them...no, i am not helping either of them!

I HATE fights, especially friends between friends and they want me to go on their sides and you can't choose cause if you do, you will either hurt one of them! It Sucks!!!!! :'(

XOXO
Drea-mer

They were an item, now what can I say?

He confessed to her, she accepted. She talked with her friend, her friend asked her, are you cheating him, she never answered and started talking crap. Her friend told him and he got so furious. I skyped with him, i asked why they seemed so DISTANT in school. He answered me and showed me a fight they had on facebook.

I would NEVER believe her like that. In school, she is so soft, innocent, funny and a great friend but now, i can't believe what I am seeing here! She is using harsh words on him. He told me, this is the real her...still can't believe it! Why?!

This conversation really kills me. They were great friends. The guy was funny and humourous and it totally matches her ego. They WERE perfect and now, he is calling her names and so is she...How did this happen... :(

Something I wish my BOYFRIEND will do.....

Something romantic happened to a friend of mine, she's is one . her boyfriend, before he left the school did such a romantic thing to her, I wish my lover would do that to me if he leaves...He gave her a ring at such a young age!!! It was a secret but i accidentally heard it...So romantic!! Like a promise ring that he will come back for her....I didn't know if they broke up, but now she has a new boyfriend...I don't know why she is obssessed with her NEW boyfriend...sad. I pity her ex-boyfriend. I still don't know if then </3 yet. Waiting for more news around me ;)

XOXO
Cyan

Present for me.

** wants me back. Has she realized it? What had I done wrong? Was it something she thought? Hathly went to her place and went she came back, she told me she saw a present on her desk with a small note attached to it, 'To: Yan Yi' She asked ** what is this for and ** said, "Oh, this is for your sister, make sure you take the present to her after class.

Yes, ** was my ex-teacher, wow, that sounds weird. Ex...lol. anyway, she is a woman. I could remember when i first stepped into her teaching centre...great times...i was a little immature but not as much as i am now. My handwriting was unspeakable, my English was terrible and totally broken! I could speak my own language...My English was my worst subject when I was a kiddo'. I had a pinch of Chinese accent in my own English language. No one can understand me as much as her, my teacher. Haha. I know...hilarious! -.- Not even my mum understands more than her! ><

You know what? I am cutting the story SHORT, really short. I am lazy to write it all out since I already have it kept in my memory. Yeah, so my sister forgot to take the present home and I nearly ripped her head of her neck by shaking her shoulders so hard, but i didn't. I, the 69% immature and um....1,2,3,.......15.....30 er...31! Yes, the 69% Immatured and 31% matured sister, I mean awesome, stubborn sister, which is me, just screamed a ear deafening scream. "You did what?! How can you FORGET to take MY present from the teacher?!!!!! The teacher that seemed to hate me a lot?! I can't believe you at all!!!!!!! It was a present, a present for me, ME i said!!! I should have left you at her place instead of picking you up. I should have told the driver that we didn't even need to pick you up!"

Can't believe her! I simply cannot!!!!!!!! Note this: Make sure when you pick your siblings up, asked them if there were any gifts or letters from them. Don't lose the chance to receive gifts!!!!

XOXO

Innocent Dreamer XP

There's a huge difference between LOVE and LIKE

After 5 years of observation, (tee-hee) I found out that the person I like a lot has told me he loves me. Without hesitation i told him i LOVE him back. We kept telling each other that to remind ourselves that we are perfect for each other, reminding us that we won't get bored of each other any how.

Then, after a while, i found out the truth of my words. I didn't love him, i couldn't possibly fall in love with him. I wanted to but I couldn't. I tried falling in love with him so i can proof my words were true to him.

How I found out, 1st, he never shown any affection to me before, not in public or texting. Right, well, it was an affair...again. 2nd, we weren't in a relationship. Shot answer and straight forward. Usually, when people say I love you in a relationship, it MOSTLY means they actually have a meaning; small affair and not in a relationship (Like Me ><) doesn't mean anything at all!

This is short, really short. Just say its DISCONTINUED--

XOXO

Dreamer gal~

Being a supernatural....i thought of the idea and i liked it! :D

Being a supernatural, like a werewolf or a vampire. They always have a 'soul mate' or another word, 'their other half.' Is it true? I am a 'dreamer' after all. ;) If I were a werewolf or a blood sucking vampire, wouldn't that be cool? I mean, you will actually know that special person is right for you and know that he/she will feel the same thing about you.

A world that only supernaturals will know that that world exists, not like a normal human, who doesn't know that the world was truly real. I am more of Jacob's fan from Twilight. Yes, i am also a huge fan of Twilight. I can't wait to watch Breaking dawn!!!! Youngster here, so don't mind me. You can stop reading crap and brags from me, but i wish you to read on!

XOXO
Little Innocent Dreamer ~

Hollywood love 2

Hollywood love. I'm not being racist and all but, that's what i heard the most from my sisters and friends. People there are successful. If you are one of them, think, having a fast relationship and having to break up, news spread faster than you know.

Think about your fans, they can actually feel how you feel. Maybe when you first are in a relationship, all your fans will cheer you on, use all their might to be happy for you cause they don't want you to get hurt. You reassure them that the person you are with now is the right guy for you and you guys get married. Then, after a while, you feel BORED of him/her and BREAK-UP. Your fans that cheered for you, you waisted their cheer and strength. You guys are apart...do you know how heart broken for them to see you like this?!

Pss: This is total crap!

XOXO

Cyan =.=

Hollywood love 1

They don't really last long. At first they would be happily be together or some would even get MARRIED, but then, after a short duration of time, with no reason at all, they would break-up or divorce. The word 'break up' is used quite often i'm pretty sure, more than the words 'I love you.'

I know I'm young at all to even know 'Love' actually exists but these days, people don't believe in love anymore. How can they proof to the future of the children if all of them don't exist except 1/6 of them? I learnt that love EXISTS from my parents. I found out that my friend's parents divorced and they aren't from Hollywood. She went with her dad but he didn't appear on her performing day. It was really sad for her, she showed her sadness and depression on her face. If i was too emotional, i would have cried for her. But instead, i was quite angry at her dad though but i didn't tell her that. i just kept quiet. Was what i did right or wrong?

For example of a Hollywood marriage...Easy one. Katy Perry and Russell Brand. They were like the sweetest couple but a few days ago, they broke up. Sad, sad. They were perfect together, that's what people thought and so did they, but they just broke up cause god knows what!

Hollywood Love----Short duration of love. Shortest Relationships.

XOXO

Innocent Dreamer~ Check out Hollywood love 2

In my dreams~!

She is quite obsessed with Eugene, but I'm glad for her. She is a wonderful friend of mine and now, she is in an open relationship with her lover, Eugene. I am pretty sure that she would climb a volcano for him--Wait, that's what every person wants their lover to do but of course they don't want their lover to risk their life just to climb a volcano for him/her. Actually, that would be romantic...What did i do if i got a mate like that? :) Yeah right, i would never believe my eyes until i see one person, anyone at all to risk their life to climb a mountain or somewhat. IN MY DREAMS, someone would actually do that!

XOXO

Innocent Dreamer

As sneaky as we are. That's why I lov--like you too much!

Few weeks until you confessed, you were still in the last year of primary school, i was in Year 7. You are having your own life, and so was I. We were parted away but i came back one day. We agreed not to make it obvious we were having a little love affair. We weren't cheating nobody, as we have our freedom. Sort of.

We kept stealing each other glances and used our eyes to talk. I wanted to take a picture with you but you refuse...it wasn't an obvious thing! Cause i took pictures with almost everyone i know, including many, many guys. What a shy boy you are, but that's why i lov--like you a lot. I never liked someone so much before in my life. You are so sweet, caring, quite intelligent. The looks...well, who cares about looks anyway! I aren't that beautiful either...that's why we are great for each other. I couldn't say perfect because you still have a crush on another girl that I shan't speak the name and I, also have a crush on someone else...

You told me secrets that you never told anyone, including your own best friend, that's really nice of you since we both like each other a lot. I really hope you feel the same way i do to you...because i'm terrified that any random day, you'll throw me off and chase for another. The question popped into my head. 'Do I love you?'

XOXO

Cyan :)

Love Pro, eh?

My friends from MAZ call me a 'Love Pro' just because i write love poems and status about love or romance. Even though i luv the nickname, it isn't true! I told them i write them for fun and nthing else, well, maybe some of them are about my life but not all, okay?!

1. I never been loved by any boy, except my family. The boy told me he loves me, so what?! If he 'LOVES' me, he should prove to me! Telling me isn't a big difference! Does he know that? Although i love it when he tells me that but one day i asked Yan, my big brain sistah', she says 'Saying those words don't really mean anything unless you are in a relationship together!' But we aren't in a relationship at all. That kills me. Truthfully, i never confessed to anyone before and the person who told me he 'loves' me was the one that confessed to me for the first time! I guess she is true...

2. We kept our affair as a secret. I asked my friend for her opinion whether it was a good thing to keep it as a secret. Grace, my friend, she told me, ' Well, if it was me, i would like that. Well, i don't really have any reasons to but i don't enjoy open relationships.' She's right. If we were in one, and an open one, people might start rumours, if we broke up, everyone would know and tell the next person. So, i guess my shy boy's idea is great. :) I like him a lot but i don't know if i can love him, i hope he doesn't hate me...

XOXO

Cyan <3 :)

I HATE PE, but its good for ya body...

First day of school was AWESOMEEE!!! Wait, no. It kinda sucked~~~PE for the first period and after the TIRING, leg breaking PE, we just found out that we changed our new schedule to our old one and we weren't even supposed to have PE on Wed at all!

Nxt day, groans can be heard everywhere, especially from Ella, one of my Korean friends. She's fun, cool and a little whiner but that makes her even more FUN. I guess everyone was groaning in pain...LOL. Anyway, why did we have to do PE?! No one knew about the schedule changing until...after PE. That sucks.

This is nothing much to read, so read on!

XOXO

Cyan <3

Bought it, The Wonderstruck perfume by Elizabeth Arden (Taylor Swift) !!!!!!

I'm a big fan of Taylor Swift and her perfume called 'Wonderstruck' came out! You see, I'm from Malaysia, and i don't suppose the perfume will sell it here and if it did, i'm pretty sure it was cost so much...But then, i went on a trip to New Zealand! Went to Farmers, a popular store there. I checked out on the perfume part of the huge store. I was screaming in my mind and heart. There it was, 'WONDERSTRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AH! I couldn't resist it. Bought it...I shouldn't regret it, right? it cost 109 NZ dollars for a Body lotion(Wonderstruck), The beautiful perfume and a little frangrance that i kinda prefer more than the perfume. One bottle of Wonderstruck cost like, 104 NZ dollars, so do you think it was worth it? :)/:(

I love him, I love him not?

Do I love him? I kept asking myself the question. Would I climb a mountain for him? No. Would I die for him? No.

Okay, this is not going anywhere! Conclusion: I don't love him but i really like him. He told me he loves me through texts. He is known as the most shy, quiet, obedient boy in my class. One day i came back 4 children's day, i passes out my party invitations. At night, he sent me a text. I was watching Red Ridding Hood at the moment so, i was like didn't care much. I had a crush on him like since year 4. We were like sending texts to each others for the whole night. Then, he confessed that he likes me. He, my crush!!!! I accepted of cuz! But i didn't really say it, did i have to? This was my first time anyway....

Nxt morning, he sent me a text just as i woke up saying, 'Did you have a sweet dream?' i sent him a yes and a thank you. We keep sending texts to each other but after a while, we stopped! My heart was crushed. I kept writing heartbreaking poems as my status in facebook. I guess i was stupid cus, the next weekend, he told me he LOVES ME! Its weird how love changes people's emotion. I was like jumping crazily like a maniac! Then, we stopped, again! and it happened again and again and again.

Now, i don't know. We stopped for a while. Did you know i had to keep putting some money to my credit?! i don't usually use my phone much anyway, but now, its my life saver. I don't think he cares much now... :( I remember he told me he had a crush on a girl called Natalie. SHe has a crowd of boys chasing her, i have to admit i was jealous...

XOXO

Cyan

Graduatiooonn!

Well, I sort of graduated from Primary and now my friends have 'gone their own ways.' How can i feel so like we are still together but yet we are so distant away. Fortunately for some of them, they are in the same school! One of BFF even got lost during recess...Poor her. :( I miss all of my great friends cause now, i won't see them as much often as i could!

XOXO

Innocent Cyan Yanster :P

Fortunate for her!

Found out that my friend had a boyfriend. We'll call my friend **. And **'s BF is my BFF's really close friend. She used to have a slight crush for him for like, 1, 2 seconds? Now, she wants him to be happy. She told me it was great for him to have a wonderful, cool girlfriend like **! I 'm not sure about the guy cause i only met him once but added him on fb...=.= Well, i just need to just wish my not really close friends good luck, except the girl though. We are quite close... :) Good Luck My Friends!!!

Stalker CrUsH?!!!!!

Starting days of Year 7, I already have a stalker. He is somewhat looking like not from a girl's dream kind of look but i think he has a crush on me...He kept following me around, CLOSE and ok, fine. I won't call him a stalker cause he keeps making it obvious of liking me. Shouting, actually calling my mental friend to tell me his 'words', 'He says he loves you!' Then, me and my pwettie friend which is also a girl started to ignore. Then one day, he said he like--No, LOVE my friend. We still ignored him till today!

He is in Year 8 and he's 14. My friend is 13 and I'm only 12! Nice right? I'm the youngest among them all! ;)

PSS: I think I might HAD a slight crush on...him. Once, i couldn't stop thinking about him and i lost my appetite COMPLETELY! D: Am i crazy or somethin?!

Love Freedom

Age: 12. Was in Primary Chinese School. Been there for 6 years. First time ever in my life, a guy that i HAD a crush on for like few years confessed his <3 for me! I know it is't a big deal for others but it really means a lot with me.

All my friends told me they care about the looks of guys only. My BFF told me, 'You know when we are like this age, we USUALLY think mostly of the looks of guys. I mean we only would love to choose guys who are good looking and stuff, not ugly and fat!'

That's not true, i mean anyone SHOULD have their freedom for choosing their own lover, and not parents forcing you into liking other guys!

C.C?!!!

C for Eng. Paper 1 and 2?! OMG! how can this be?! This sucks! 2nd Term examinations are so hard for a girl that just started to transfer into a new school and having a new life. Yes, i am a girl who cares about her marks. I am only Year 7 this year, 2012. Mum will kill me! God. My eng is so terrible... :'(