Devoted to Artcurus: Last day of the first week of school

Friday, September 7, 2012

Last day of the first week of school

Friday, 06 Sep 2012.

Today, was supposed to be the best, happiest day of all the normal school days. Crap. All crap.

It was so normal and happy before and now, 2:35 pm, came back from school 20 minutes ago, crying my heart out? How did this happen?

Firstly, came to school wearing my necklace. Class was all perfect, fine. Break time.....um, had A moment with my ehem... :) Actually, we only hugged. Nothing much. It only lasted for 5 seconds...cus...too many people were there, near the platform near the lake. Couldn't complain it.

After break, class still went smoothly. Then our last period was PE. PE was fun, i have to admit. BUT AFTER PE, I went for my promise for a friend, went to get his IGCSE results... by asking the headmistress. She said No. but that wasn't the reason why I was hurt in the end. You see, the school has the IGCSE results posted at the walls and I can't find his particular name. It felt wrong, because I know he studies hard and he might have gotten at least 4, 5 As? and the board only presents people who got 4As and above. His name still wasn't there after the 5th time I checked.

I was so stupid and had to ask the headmistress. She was pretty angry when I said His name. but then, she smiled at me when I said I was my nerdy sis's younger sister.

Got home, still normal, but tired. Told my mum I asked the headmistress for the results. She screamed at me. Why? I don't know. She didn't even let me tell her the reason why I asked the headmistress at the first place.
Why she screamed I still didn't know. Well, I didn't have a choice. I asked others, but all of them told me to ask the headmistress and my friend really wants it so badly...he's like a big brother to me. Sometimes, he can be a jerk. but he has done a lot of nice things for me. I couldn't say no, plus he let me go to his Pizza Party which was today that I begged for but couldn't make it last..How could I say no?

I lost my appetite. I actually got her to SHUT THE F*CK UP by waiting for her to stop talking. SHE FINALLY HEARD MY REASON THEN START TO SAY, 'Oh I didn't know.' Even though she's my mum, she can be like the most annoying person in the world that can't seem to try to wait for others to speak. From the moment she screamed at me..I nearly gave in and cried in front of her. My own mum. She doesn't screamed out of the ordinary like that...and she FINALLY told me why. My friend has some problems with finance. haven't given the last term school fees, or was it the whole semester? The teachers knew and purposely didn't put his name on the results list. F*ck those teachers. What monsters they are! The teachers in my school are the worst, except some good ones... other than that, they always take advantage of the students, I don't think they even know that my friend has financial problems with his family!

But. I didn't burst into tears yet.

I told my sister. SAME REACTION. She is actually the same year as him, she got good results. I told her. "I asked the headmistress for his marks. I DIDN'T KNOW!" Then, all hell came to attack me. SHE SCREAMED AT ME. SHOUTED. "WHAT?!" I didn't know why but I broke down at that part and quickly ran out. She did shout behind me, What did she say?!! I ignored it of course. Who could speak a proper language when they are actually crying?! But, the good and happy thing about that moment was that I managed to swear one word at her. Bitch.

I slammed and locked the door of the bathroom behind me. Perfect timing. My sis was at the other end. Then, my mum came in the room outside the bathroom.

I got a text from my sweetheart while I was crying. I couldn't just tell him 'I AM CRYING!' That would make me weak! but i couldn't help myself by giving him short answers like . "Sure." "K." I managed to not give in...i think. He didn't even know that I was crying. Thank God... I wouldn't want him to know that I was weak, stupid, helpless... But the sad thing is, he kept texting back, Sorry. He kept thinking that he was the one who made me depressed, disappointed...angry...

And I kept saying it wasn't his fault and kept texting back to him, I'm sorry for my behaviour...he told me, 'You're always forgiven.' I do love him. A lot. But, i don't want to ever show my weakness to anyone but myself.
And that's the reason, and now you know.